How to Get Power of Attorney When Your Loved One Has Dementia

Here's the thing nobody tells you when your loved one gets a dementia diagnosis: the window to set up a Power of Attorney can close faster than you think. And once it closes, you're looking at a much harder, slower, and more expensive road.

If your loved one has been diagnosed with dementia — or you suspect something is wrong and haven't gotten a diagnosis yet — this is the article I wish someone had handed me the day it all started. The short version: act now, even if it feels too soon. Especially if it feels too soon.

What "Capacity" Actually Means — And Why It Matters

To sign a Power of Attorney, your loved one needs what's called legal capacity. This doesn't mean they need to be fully sharp or have a perfect memory. It means they need to understand, in the moment, what they're agreeing to: that they're giving someone else authority to make decisions on their behalf, and roughly what that means.

Here's what surprises most families: a dementia diagnosis does not automatically mean capacity is gone. Especially in early stages, many people with dementia retain enough understanding to sign legal documents. Capacity is assessed at the time of signing — not based on a diagnosis, not based on how bad a day they're having this week.

This is actually good news. It means there's often more time than people realize. But "more time than you think" is not the same as "plenty of time." Dementia is progressive. Capacity can change quickly, and you usually don't get a warning.

What to Do Right Now

If your loved one is in early or moderate stages, move quickly — but don't panic. Here's the sequence that works:

1. Start with a conversation — not a legal one. Talk to your loved one about what they'd want if they couldn't make decisions for themselves. Frame it around their wishes, not your needs. Many people, once they understand what POA actually is, want to set it up. It protects their choices, not just yours.

2. Get an elder law attorney involved. This is not the moment for a DIY document. An attorney can assess capacity during the signing, document that assessment, and make the whole thing much harder to challenge later. The cost is real — typically $300 to $1,500 depending on your state and situation — but it's a fraction of what guardianship costs if you wait too long.

3. Get a physician's letter confirming capacity at the time of signing. Optional, but worth doing. If anyone challenges the document later, having contemporaneous medical documentation is invaluable.

4. Make sure the document is durable. A durable Power of Attorney remains in effect even after your loved one becomes incapacitated. Without durability language, the POA becomes void at exactly the moment you need it. Most modern POA forms are durable by default — but always confirm this explicitly.

What If They're Already in Later Stages?

If your loved one can no longer understand what they're signing — if they can't recognize family members, can't follow a basic conversation, or have been declared legally incapacitated — then POA is no longer an option. I know that's hard to read.

At that point, the path forward is guardianship or conservatorship, which is a court process. It's slower, more expensive, more invasive, and less flexible than POA. It can take months and cost thousands of dollars in legal fees. Courts get involved. There's ongoing oversight and reporting.

None of that is insurmountable. Families navigate it every day. But it is genuinely harder than getting POA done early — which is why I keep saying: don't wait.

Not Sure If It's Too Late?

Get a capacity assessment. An elder law attorney can help arrange this, and a physician — ideally a geriatric specialist — can evaluate whether your loved one still has the ability to sign. Don't assume it's too late without checking. You might have more time than you think.

And if you do still have a window: use it. Today, not next week.

The paperwork is fixable. The window is not.

Not sure if the window has already closed? We cover exactly how to tell — and what your options are if it has — in When Is It Too Late to Get Power of Attorney?.

Ready for the next step?

Get the free POA checklist at POAhelp.com — a quick rundown of what you'll need before you meet with an attorney.

Browse our institution guides — once you have POA in hand, our step-by-step guides walk you through registering it with banks, insurance companies, government agencies, and more. Because getting the document is only half the battle.